Speech 2 - "If you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen." - (1978)

IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE HEAT,

  STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN

(Wriiten & delivered at Essendon Toastmasters – March 1976 by Warren Maloney)[1]

 

No matter whether you vote Liberal, Labor, DLP, Australian Democrats or Others, there is certainly one political maxim –

If you don’t like the heat, stay out of the kitchen!

I never cease to be amazed at the quagmire of pomposity, egocentricity and conniving intrigue displayed by actual and would-be politicians. And, as they seek the public limelight – the warmth of unknown electors, I believe that (to use the American slang) we have the duty of taking the mickey out of them.

 So tonight, let’s remember some of the good times:

 Billy McMahon certainly asked for it when he timed an election to coincide with the birth of his only child. With his camp mannerisms and marbled “big-ears” appearance, he certainly called for some heat – The Naked and the Dead!

 

Hank Bolte dished out some heat with telling the Unionists that “they can march up and down until their bloody feet are sore”. But Bolte did cop a fair bit of flack in return – A Bloody Burglar!

 

Some of the burglars were not slow in taking the mickey out of themselves. The bemused Gough Whitlam was asked by one young reporter whether he liked television. “I should say I do. “he replied “Ever since I saw myself elect Prime Minister on TV; I attach great importance to it.”

 

John F. Kennedy, the tragic Arthur of the new Camelot, also displayed the same sort of self-deprecation. On announcing that his brother, Bobby, would be the Legal Officer in Cabinet, he remarked: “I don’t see anything wrong with a President appointing his brother Attorney-General, and then sending him off to study law.”

 

The point of my speech is that if they seek the limelight, let’s see they know the colour of tomatoes. 

To quote Roger Allen –

  “A skilful politician is one who can stand up and rock the boat, and make you believe that he is the only one who can save you from the storm.”

 

 

 


[1] Warren himself became an elected politician as a Brunswick Councillor 4 years later in March 1980.


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