AN UNCOMPLICATED MAN
(Eulogy for Raymond Warren Maloney (1913-2001)
written and delivered at his funeral by
Warren Maloney on Friday, 27th July 2001)[1]
As I sat here, I thought how Dad would not have
wanted any of you to have “put yourself out”. “There is no need for a big
stink”, he would say.
But
how thrilled he would be to see everyone – from his family including Kyahl and
Karen and Barry, and Kikki and Joan and Viva, Deane, Tom, Wayne, Glen, Stacey
and of course Mandy.
Dad
laughed time and time again as he told the story of the natural Mandy who
during the wake at home after Mum’s funeral decided she needed a shower and
simply did just that – oblivious to any other need anyone may have for the
bathroom.
Thank
you for being here for him and for us. We would love to spend time with each of
you afterwards in the tearoom so that we can hug each of you.
Our Dad, our brother and brother-in-law, our
grandfather and great-grandfather and the father of our friend, Ray Maloney has
been always a very uncomplicated man.
Ray Maloney 1914
He
was born in 1913 in the front bedroom of 238 Lygon Street Carlton – a terrace
house that our family rented for 62 years and which is now a pasta restaurant.
For
his first 28 years he slept on the upstairs verandah getting out onto the
verandah via the bedroom window – most of those years he was tucked into bed by
his grandmother, the family saint, Granny Barker.
Ray
was wooed from the verandah to the wilds of West Brunswick by an amazing and
deep and unquestioned love for Mum – Doris or Dot. For 46 years they laughed
and loved and loved some more through the episodes of his wartime work on the
roads in the Northern Territory, through the story-filled couple of years
trying to run their own factory in a Fitzroy laneway, through his 30 years as
pieceworker pressing stockings (110 dozen @ day) at Hiltons Hosiery, through
the “centre of the universe” 9 years when we had the Milk Bar in Hope
St, and finally over 10 years in retirement together in the pink house in West
Coburg.
Denise
and I feel very privileged to have known Dad for with his death also dies a
different Australia, a different value system, a different vocabulary, and an
unbelievable wealth of stories.
I
would like to share a couple with you
Ray
the useful larrikin
The Maloney Brothers - Roy & Ron & Rex & Ray (kneeling)- 1921
Ray
was the school captain at St George’s Primary School in Carlton and the school
team were premiers in 1925 and 1926. So, it was of concern to Br Miles and the
nuns and Christian brothers at St George’s when Ray, like every other
working-class kid, had to leave at aged 13 – having completed his merit
certificate.
The
problem was even more difficult as St George’s Carlton and St Ambrose’s
Brunswick were both undefeated until they met in the footy year of 1927.
Problems required solutions and Br Miles, the principal, sent word for Ray to
take time off his job as assistant projectionist at the Carlton Theatre and to
come back to school for 1 day.
All
the kids at St George’s were warned at assembly that morning that they would be
severely punished if anyone disclosed to a St Ambrose child that afternoon that
young Ray had only come back to school for that match.
The
plot worked – St George’s won by 3 goals (young Ray was best on ground) and
rumour has it that the nuns and brothers of St George’s ate well at the Retreat
hotel in Brunswick that night whilst Ray went back to the Carlton theatre
Ray
the gambler
Roy & Ray Maloney - 1939
I
always thought that factory picnics were a family day – ice creams, being with
your mum and dad, egg and spoon races, peanut butter sandwiches. In hindsight,
I now know that there were other sub-plots going on.
Ray
and his good mate, Tommy Tyler, were walking back from the factory canteen at
Hiltons, when they noticed one of the young factory girls, Jenny, running
towards the canteen. They quickly realised that “she could run”.
Taking her aside, they encouraged her to come
with the family and Tommy to the Hilton picnic the next month at Werribee and
to enter in the Women’s sprint.
She
was to wear a skirt, light blouse, and bare feet. She agreed – and whilst
Denise and I were filling up on lollies and ice creams at Werribee Park, Tommy
and Dad were able to get 20 each at 7/2 with the Hilton SP bookie on Jenny in
the sprint.
They
knew they were on a good thing until the women lined up for the sprint and
there next to Jenny was a “Sheila from the office” clad in shorts, a “Coburg
Harriers” top and wearing running spikes. They had blown their 20 each.
I
don’t know what happened to Jenny, but Mum was the only one who talked to her
on the way home.
Ray
the soft touch
The
theory behind the Milk Bar was good. Mum would leave the factory and work the
Milk Bar during the day. Dad would stay at the factory and work the Milk Bar on
the weekends. We could afford then to put Denise and Warren through school. And
the jam and cream in Milk Bar takings would be the 100 school lunches for the
kids at St Joseph’s Primary School up the road.
But
the theory disintegrated from Day 1 when Dad excitedly took the day off from
the factory to help in the shop. He listened to the hard luck story from a
snotty nosed 8 yr. old who apparently hadn’t eaten that century and had no
money from his mum. Dad fed the kid play lunch and was amazed to find the shop
filled at lunch time by an endless stream of kids who also had never eaten and
had heartless mums.
Our
shop had more people paying on the never-never slate than can be imagined and
of course we fed and cared for the local battered families, our neighbours,
until the day we left.
Dad
would always argue that the Milk Bar was a good business but that the
supermarkets beat us. Maybe they contributed but at least no one went hungry in
Hope St West Brunswick
Ray
the innocent
Doris (Dot) & Ray - 1967
For those of you who are going with us to the
graveside where Mum & Dad will rest together, perhaps this story will help.
Mum
died in December 1988 and is buried there in the lawn cemetery. I didn’t want
to rush Dad in visiting the grave after the funeral day but about 3 weeks later
he said he wanted to see it again. The plaque had not been made but we knew
where to go, and the grave was suitably marked.
So,
I picked up Dad on a wet Friday morning in Bruce St. I told him that if it got
too much, we wouldn’t stop but simply go on and have a counter lunch.
He
asked me to stop the car in Melville Rd so that he could buy flowers. The last
time he bought mum flowers was when I was born. I watched this hunched old man
in a brown wrinkled overcoat emerge from the florist with a bunch of violets. I
cried and joined him in controlled sobs, and we were still outside the florist.
At
the cemetery, I was thrilled to be able to hold the umbrella and clasp his
shoulders as he placed those beautiful violets on her grave and we stood crying
and silently praying. We remained like that until AS ONE we glanced sideways
and noticed that the next-door grave had the name “MALONEY” on its concrete
headstone. We lifted the violets and moved 3 feet to our right, put down the
violets and resumed crying.
Ray’s
Greatest achievement
Ray & Denise 1946
Denise & Ray 1996
Ray had never known illness and his & Mum’s
uncomplicated world was shattered when Denise had epileptic fits at the age of
12. Their Princess was hurting and there was no understandable cure.
But
Denise is Ray’s greatest achievement. He stressed that she was not to be placed
or allow herself to be placed in cotton wool. She was to tackle life as if
there were no boundaries.
Denise
went on with that support to be a champion swimmer, an excellent actress,
matriculate, qualify as a nursing sister at the toughest of them all – St
Vincent’s Hospital, and be a wonderful mother of 3 boys and a happy
grandmother.
Ray
has been there when any step was becoming too hard to take and he fought
unconditionally to protect her right to be fulfilled and happy.
Ray’s
3 great loves
More
than anything else, Ray loved in order – Dot, his family and Carlton. He will
rest with Mum now forever, but Denise and I wanted to do something symbolic
about the other loves. So, we want to play his music now and to give to
Dannielle and John for their child due in February a symbolic passing of the
baton – a Carlton Guernsey.
We
know that Dad would have liked this.
Warren & Brian & Ray & Clarrie at Carlton Social Club 1990
Warren & Brian & Ray & Clarrie at Carlton Social Club 1990
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